k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
