Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
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