I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Randomize
