i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
