I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
