Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone came in the potted fern
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
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