Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
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I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
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So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
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