If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Randomize
