I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
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