You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Randomize
