We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will be naked everywhere
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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