He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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