we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
