I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
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