I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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