He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
