She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
