Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
