I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
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