I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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