we're blogging at a bar
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
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