I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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