she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
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