so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
I could have mohawked her pubes.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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