I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize