ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
