Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
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