Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Randomize
