Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
