from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
