even my farts smell like vagina
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
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