Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize