I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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