if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
Randomize
