summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
