I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize