Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
