repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Randomize
