I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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