Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
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