I hope mine doesn't look like that
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Randomize
