We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
