ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
