she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
