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• (630): View more from Illinois

  oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.

  (310): View more from California

  ***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.

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• (732): View more from New Jersey

  i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.

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• (631): View more from New York

  if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you

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• (512): View more from Texas

  Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?

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• (845): View more from New York

  "Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.

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• (903): View more from Texas

  I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.

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• (937): View more from Ohio

  I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.

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• (330): View more from Ohio

  He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.

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• (901): View more from Tennessee

  oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.

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• (214): View more from Texas

  I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore

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• (321): View more from Florida Space Coast

  Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.

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• (928): View more from Arizona

  I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.

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• (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂

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• (970): View more from Colorado

  I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?

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• (703): View more from Virginia

  You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers

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