She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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