when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
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