the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
