i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
i already hear my dad disowning me
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
