is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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