I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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