My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Randomize
