i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
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