1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
