I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Randomize
