I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
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