whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
